Clones r us

Have you ever fantasized that you had a clone? I have. And with school out for the summer I’m fantasizing more than ever.

Lori Welbourne, On a Brighter Note



Have you ever fantasized that you had a clone? I have. And with school out for the summer I’m fantasizing more than ever.

It seems the older I get the more I’d like to have one. I’m not sure if it’s because I have less energy than I used to or because I feel like I’m running out of time or just because I feel busier than ever. It’s most likely a combination of all three.

A self-confessed workaholic, I love what I do and wouldn’t be able to hire someone to do a large portion of it. But I wouldn’t mind handing off a bunch of those duties to my clone while I took off with the kids.

Imagining all the freedom I could experience with this assistance, I think that perhaps one clone might not be enough.

Two would make way more sense.

In my delusional head space, I’m dividing up the chores between Clone A and Clone B. I’m overloading the first one with professional obligations and the second one with domestic duties and charity work. Now I’m wondering which one should be given the tasks of eating perfectly, working out and tackling my ever-growing list of things to do called “DO LATER.”

Hmmm… it’s a hard decision, because A and B have so much on their plates already. Obviously a Clone C is also required.

Right now I’m considering which one I would get to finish writing this column since I’m not even halfway through it and I feel like going to bed.

Forced to snap back to reality when I’m not rescued by one of my imaginary friends, I wonder what readers might think when they read this column. “What a loon,” and “She needs to get her priorities straight,” pop to mind first.

Neither opinion would get an argument from me.

But who wouldn’t want a clone or two to help them out? Every mother I know would jump at the chance.

I realize this silly dream is just a hybrid of an old fantasy I had from childhood when Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie were my favourite television shows. When my mom would ask me to clean my room or do my homework I would either wiggle my nose like Samantha or nod and blink like Jeannie and imagine for a moment that it worked. Of course it never did. But it was fun to daydream that it did.

Resigning myself to the fact that I will never be able to duplicate myself or instantly get things done with a wiggle, a nod or a blink I’m reminded that I can’t do everything. Okay, I said it. I can’t do everything. Even with a large staff of people I wouldn’t be able to accomplish all that I dream about.

So, without a clone or any magical powers, I will bravely face the summer holidays and just accomplish what I can. Today I will play catch and skip rocks with the kids. Everything else can go on the “DO LATER” list.

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