Contributed by Sam Piuze, Family Support Worker for Houston Community Services
Just like a hockey team has general manager, coach, captain goalie and such, every member of a family has various roles to play within the family team. There are duties to be done such as cooking, shoveling, fixing things, sweeping, washing dishes, etc. When those are assumed as a team, it creates energy and free up time and space which can then be used to play freely and listen attentively to each other. The goal must be that every member of the family system has their fundamental needs met and can slowly become truly themselves. One step at a time, training together toward that goal. Every position matter and grandma might be the key one.
To evolve, a children must know that they can count on their family to be there, somewhat the same week after week, steadfast and reliable. They also need a certain structure and a home where they feel safe to continue their personal path toward maturity. To be involved in the community is also a very important part of human development. We got to be useful somehow, otherwise we’re useless.
There are as many cultures as there are families. There are so many authentic ways to nurture the development of good habits in our children so they become pro-active parts of our society. The attachment of us kid to our parental figures is vital in our development. We still, in great part, relate to people the way our parents communicated with us.
Sometimes we forget the simplicity of life, nothing really matters except the love that we manage to feel for each other. Sometimes we spend so much time not feeling it that we stop caring for the rest of the team, for the rest of the world if one goes too deep.
That’s when we need to find a way to reset ourselves on the love path.
It might be going out and run to breath out the toxic emotions that overwhelm us or take the time to draw, paint, dance or simply spend some time with the puzzle sitting on the living room table. There are many ways but, in all cases, it seems like it has a lot to do with re-training ourselves to breath freely and calmly.
You might also be needing to talk with a friend that knows how to simply listen to you because they care about you. If you’re having a hard time breathing, there are trained people in this town ready to listen to your story and try to help you and your family get back on tracks.
Often in life, to ask for help is half of the challenge. Great things happen when people listen.
And if you’re doing good, a little check-in on people around you can make a huge difference.